Is FKA Twigs the new Björk? Florian Meacci.
AND THE NEW SUPERSTARS ARE…
Who’s next to step up to the fashionable pop star plate? Our secretive insiders take a look in the history books and beyond to find out. And their conclusion could surprise you…
A: I’m so bored.
B: Why? Have you run out of snail cream?
A: Darling, I’ll never be bored by new advances in beauty. I’m talking about seeing the same old faces again and again. Snail cream-free territory, really.
B: Oh yes, let me quote the goddess Diana Vreeland: “I LOATHE nostalgia.” And there’s just too much of it around these days for my liking. We’re in fashion for heaven’s sake, not archaeology.
A: I mean, I love Madonna, Björk, J.Lo et al, and always will, but there’s a next generation shift happening right before our eyes, no?
B: Indeed there is. But since the present is always informed by the past, the next generation is kind of the old generation – at least that’s the only way I can understand them. Let’s begin: Who is the new Björk?
A: Judging by her “kooky” fashion choices and embracing of the latest technology (fact: the only person to make Google Glass look cool), the answer is FKA Twigs. Bonus points for scoring Robert Pattinson. What about Madonna?
B: That one has been through so many changes by now that potentially anyone is the new Madonna, even herself.
A: Britney Spears was touted as the new Madonna at one point, but I think that ship has sailed. Especially since I feel Madonna herself – again! – nipped that one in the bud by completely dominating BritBrit at every chance whenever they were seen together. Surely Lady Gaga is the Madonna-in-waiting?
B: I don’t know. She’s like Madonna interpreted by an avant-garde, comedy drag queen. Anyway, let’s move on. The J.Lo of today, who’s that?
A: Hmmmm… Ariana Grande? Minus the booty. But add impossibly swishy ponytail.
B: I’m trying to figure out who the new Mariah Carey is… It has to be Taylor Swift, minus the voice. But I can totally see Taylor going from American sweetheart to full-blown diva in a couple of years.
A: Including impossible demands such as only blue M&Ms and at least 1,000 white roses in her dressing room?
B: Darling, those are not impossible demands. To me, Mariah is a true inspiration. Now carry me downstairs! I don’t DO stairs.
A: *Looks to our eleven bodyguards* I’m sorry, but now I’m bored of all this newness. I believe we know who our true inspiration is. She is a shining beacon for us all and she probably uses snail cream, too. I’m talking about CHER.
B: Yes! I take back what I said. I LOVE nostalgia now. And so does Kim Kardashian, who used Cher’s dress at the first Met Gala in 1974 as inspiration for her Cavalli number this year. *tries to do eyeroll but gets dizzy* As if Kim could be the new Cher! We all know we must never ask the question: “Who is the new Cher?” There can only be one Cher, AND THAT IS CHER. In any case, she is physically and emotionally eternal, so it makes sense.
A: I’d cry right now, but it’ll ruin my sheet mask. Can you get one of the bodyguards to do it for me, instead?
B: ALL HAIL CHER. *stern look at bodyguards*
The identity of our gossip folk remains an enigma. The illustrator behind this drawing, however, is the well-known and adored Florian Meacci, a French illustrator based in London.