Is FKA Twigs the new Björk? Florian Meacci.

Is FKA Twigs the new Björk? Florian Meacci.

AND THE NEW SUPERSTARS ARE…

Who’s next to step up to the fashionable pop star plate? Our secretive insiders take a look in the history books and beyond to find out. And their conclusion could surprise you…

Cher by Florian Meacci.

A: I’m so bored.

B: Why? Have you run out of snail cream?

A: Darling, I’ll never be bored by new advances in beauty. I’m talking about seeing the same old faces again and again. Snail cream-free territory, really.

B: Oh yes, let me quote the goddess Diana Vreeland: “I LOATHE nostalgia.” And there’s just too much of it around these days for my liking. We’re in fashion for heaven’s sake, not archaeology.

A: I mean, I love Madonna, Björk, J.Lo et al, and always will, but there’s a next generation shift happening right before our eyes, no?

B: Indeed there is. But since the present is always informed by the past, the next generation is kind of the old generation – at least that’s the only way I can understand them. Let’s begin: Who is the new Björk?

A: Judging by her “kooky” fashion choices and embracing of the latest technology (fact: the only person to make Google Glass look cool), the answer is FKA Twigs. Bonus points for scoring Robert Pattinson. What about Madonna?

B: That one has been through so many changes by now that potentially anyone is the new Madonna, even herself.

A: Britney Spears was touted as the new Madonna at one point, but I think that ship has sailed. Especially since I feel Madonna herself – again! – nipped that one in the bud by completely dominating BritBrit at every chance whenever they were seen together. Surely Lady Gaga is the Madonna-in-waiting?

B: I don’t know. She’s like Madonna interpreted by an avant-garde, comedy drag queen. Anyway, let’s move on. The J.Lo of today, who’s that?

A: Hmmmm… Ariana Grande? Minus the booty. But add impossibly swishy ponytail.

B: I’m trying to figure out who the new Mariah Carey is… It has to be Taylor Swift, minus the voice. But I can totally see Taylor going from American sweetheart to full-blown diva in a couple of years.

A: Including impossible demands such as only blue M&Ms and at least 1,000 white roses in her dressing room?  

B: Darling, those are not impossible demands. To me, Mariah is a true inspiration. Now carry me downstairs! I don’t DO stairs.

A: *Looks to our eleven bodyguards* I’m sorry, but now I’m bored of all this newness. I believe we know who our true inspiration is. She is a shining beacon for us all and she probably uses snail cream, too. I’m talking about CHER.

B: Yes! I take back what I said. I LOVE nostalgia now. And so does Kim Kardashian, who used Cher’s dress at the first Met Gala in 1974 as inspiration for her Cavalli number this year. *tries to do eyeroll but gets dizzy* As if Kim could be the new Cher! We all know we must never ask the question: “Who is the new Cher?” There can only be one Cher, AND THAT IS CHER. In any case, she is physically and emotionally eternal, so it makes sense.

A: I’d cry right now, but it’ll ruin my sheet mask. Can you get one of the bodyguards to do it for me, instead? 

B: ALL HAIL CHER. *stern look at bodyguards*

 

The identity of our gossip folk remains an enigma. The illustrator behind this drawing, however, is the well-known and adored Florian Meacci, a French illustrator based in London. 

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