Justin Bieber, the new member of One Direction? By Florian Meacci.

Justin Bieber, the new member of One Direction? By Florian Meacci.

UNBREAK THE INTERNET

Is the internet breaking every week now? Our insiders round up the largest breaks of late, find the ultimate scenario imaginable, then decode Caitlyn Jenner’s revelation to the world!

Caitlyn Jenner by Florian Meacci.

A: First my beloved Alaïa heels, now THIS. Everything I cherish is breaking around me!

B: Are you talking about your perfectly manicured nails?

A: Those, too! Do you know how long it takes to cultivate these claws? But what I’m really talking about is the interwebs. There seems to be a #breaktheinternet moment nearly every week now!

B: Hang on, wasn’t the main reason for the internet that it was that it was not supposed to break? Being a security invention and all. What on earth is causing this? Does this have something to do with a Kardashian, just like everything else these days?

A: Yes. And no. *arches beautifully filled in eyebrow* Well, you’ll be pleased to learn that after the Met Ball outing, Cher became THE FACE of Marc Jacobs, shot by David Sims, no less. Everyone became obsessed with the image. For us, we should file it under #aginggoals.

B: #agelessgoals, please. But where is the Kardashian? *Agatha Christie face – minus wrinkles*

A: Sigh, must I explain everything? Does “Call me Caitlyn” ring any bells?

B: Darling, I’ve been at the “salon” for the last couple of months, I can’t keep up with news while exploring innovations in wrinkle reduction – sorry – prevention. But I don’t recall there being any Caitlyn among the Kardashian-Jenners?

A: Caitlyn is the Olympian formerly known as Bruce Jenner. She landed the cover of Vanity Fair in a corset, shot by Annie Leibovitz obvs, and promptly broke the internet. People were gawping about Taylor Swift’s video for Bad Blood earlier, and before that, the whole blue-black/white-gold dress debate was all everyone could talk about, but Caitlyn… she surpassed even Kim’s buttocks.

B: Oh, I remember those buttocks! And no mean feat for Caitlyn either. In fact, give me a moment to take in all this information, you basically broke the internet in front of me several times in just a few minutes. *zen face* OK, I’m back. But what would be the ultimate internet-breaking moment? Surely it’s Taylor Swift’s new video featuring Cher, Caitlyn and possibly Kim’s bum – all in a blue-black/white-gold dress?

A: Better. JUSTIN BIEBER JOINS ONE DIRECTION.

B: I can hear a million retweets coming my way already! Indeed, that must be the ultimate. But you know, honey, if this phenomenon is now so common… forgive me for being a traditional fashion aficionado, but isn’t it time to #unbreaktheinternet?

A: Hmmm, you do have a very good point. I must remember to book myself into that “salon” of yours… Perhaps Caitlyn didn’t break the internet after all, judging by all the love and support. Caitlyn #UNITEDTHEINTERNET instead.

B: That is beautiful. Caitlyn picks up the online trailblazer mantle from her daughters, unbreaks the internet and leads us all into an era of acceptance and love.

A: ALL HAIL CAITLYN.

B: I still want Bieber and 1D, though.

 

The identity of our gossip folk remains an enigma. The illustrator behind this drawing, however, is the well-known and adored Florian Meacci, a French illustrator based in London. 

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