Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lawrence at awards season, Florian Meacci.

Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lawrence at awards season, Florian Meacci.

Awards season antics

We’re in the swing of awards season, and our fashion insiders wonder what would happen to the red carpet if the celebs ditched the satin gowns for runway fashion – and selfie sticks.

Will Helena Bonham-Carter save awards season? Florian Meacci

A: Oh, no, the horror is upon us again! It’s AWARDS SEASON.

B: But I just finished erasing all memory of unforgiving silk satin gowns even Spanx won’t save. This is NOT OKAY.

A: For us fashion people, it’s just too often one long yawn, and then when someone is wearing an unexpected colour or showing a leg, it feels like a revelation. At least we have Helena Bonham-Carter.

B: Thank heavens. But now that she’s split from Tim Burton (*sad face*), will she be even MORE bonkers than before or just turn up in Elie Saab like everyone else? *puke face*

A: Isn’t the rule that something MUST happen when you break up? At least a drastic, new hairdo, no?

B: Perhaps she’ll hilariously photo bomb everyone on the red carpet. She’s totally the type. Move over, Jennifer Lawrence!

A: Indeed, hasn’t the red carpet become a place where manners are completely out the window? I mean, now I am expecting pushing and shoving at the Oscars, not to mention serial photo bombing. What’s next? Mooning?

B: Darling, it’s all about the selfie stick. 

A: What’s that?

B: The stick attachment that allows you take amazing selfies on your mobile from a further (and hence, better) distance. It comes with a remote control! Here’s mine.

A: I thought the selfie was the low-point of “social” media – I’ve personally rebranded it ego media – but this... selfie stick... takes the cake. It is, however, a given on the red carpet. Surely JLaw will brandish one.

B: Definitely. Hopefully wearing something more interesting than last year. Dior contract be damned, she would look fabulous in JW Anderson S/S 2015. Oversized, floppy hat NOT optional.

A: Oh, that would be amazeballs! And Jennifer Aniston in Rick Owens! AND AND AND… Julianne Moore in Comme des Garçons! That red collection would make a statement.

B: I’m sure that even the celebrities are bored by the perceived need for “safe” dresses. Hence, all the I’ve-got-a-boring-dress-on-so-I’ll-photobomb/fall/selfiestick-as-if-my-life-depended-on-it shenanigans.

A:  You are so right, my dear. But what’s the end game here? I mentioned mooning, but surely that couldn’t occur? Flashing? Flash mob? Flashing flash mob?

B: Alas, all is for naught. Someone has already laid an egg on the red carpet, remember?

A: Yes, Björk wearing that Marjan Pejoski swan dress, and she looked fabulous doing it. In fact, she managed to be fun and dress interestingly. 

B: TAKE NOTE, CELEBS! *stern face*

 

The identity of our gossip folk remains an enigma. The illustrator behind this drawing, however, is the well-known and adored Florian Meacci, a French illustrator based in London.

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