Zoolander flashing the Blue Steel and Anna Dello Russo – a natural character in the new movie, Florian Meacci.

Zoolander flashing the Blue Steel and Anna Dello Russo – a natural character in the new movie, Florian Meacci.

Zoolander 2 – who and what should make the cut?

Our mystery fashion insiders are excited about Zoolander 2 and decide to give the scriptwriters some tips of who and what need to be parodied. Let’s just say there’s a lot to choose from.

Tavi by Florian Meacci.

A: I’m STILL reeling from the appearance of Derek Zoolander and Hansel McDonald at the Valentino show during Paris fashion week. *flashes Blue Steel*

B: That movie confused me.

A: Um, why?

B:  I couldn’t figure out who the villain was. I mean, WHAT was wrong with the Derelicte collection? After all, it had already happened in real life, at Dior COUTURE no less! I ask you, is this COMEDY?

A: Oh, get over it. We have a new fish to fry: ZOOLANDER 2. A sequel! FIFTEEN YEARS LATER. *reaches for anti-wrinkle cream* Needless to say, there is a lot that has happened in fashion to parody in the new film…

B: Ooooh! I like this game! Let’s play “Things that should be in the Zoolander 2 movie”! There has to be a slapping incident, remember the French editor who slapped an American PR woman because they moved her from the front row?

A: Tavi’s catwalk-blocking hat at Dior Couture is a personal favourite moment of mine. Followed by iPads catwalk-blocking.  

B: I hope that when they do Tavi at Dior, they have her wear a hat the size of a small car. Remember, she was about 13 when that happened, too. So much room for comedy.

A: LITERALLY.

B: The movie would not be complete without an Anna Dello Russo character who changes outfit every time you see her, preferably arriving and departing the show in different, ever more ridiculous/fabulous, looks.

A: Indeed. And surely there has to be the Instagram personalities that no one has ever heard of but who have 24 million followers. Plus, FROWs that are only filled with bloggers, preferably with their computers.

B: Oh, I remember when that happened for realz, darling!!! At Dolce & Gabbana.

A: I would love to see a Blue Steel “war” between the fashion bloggers and editors (SPOILER ALERT: ANNA WINTOUR WINS). Or a walk-off?

B: Models don’t walk anymore, though. It’s all about pulling faces now. They are just doing what Cara Delevingne is doing and then posting it online. Is it supposed to be funny? I have no idea. As I’ve previously stated, I haven’t laughed since 1997. To protect my skin.

A: *Reaches for more anti-wrinkle cream* I think the answer to what will happen in Zoolander 2 is obvious: really, really ridiculously good-looking models now only sit front row, Instagramming pics from their smartphones. Look at Burberry this past season: Cara, Kate Moss, Jourdan Dunn et al were living it up FROW. 

B: Yes, that turn at Valentino is probably their last in the movie. After that, Derek and Hansel will just become David Gandy – go to the shows, and sit front row wearing a baker boy cap and Cuban heels. I quite like it, actually. It’s a bit diva. “I don’t do walking anymore. Now carry me around.”

A: That’s been us for over ten years, no? Why aren’t WE in the film? Or maybe we will be…

B: *Stay tuned face*

 

The identity of our gossip folk remains an enigma. The illustrator behind this drawing, however, is the well-known and adored Florian Meacci, a French illustrator based in London. 

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