When I’m With Her: Rajni & Lucienne
Motherhood has shifted Rajni Jacques in a way nothing else could have. Here, she opens up about the challenges, changes and pure love that parenting has brought to her life.
TAKE US BACK TO WHEN YOU FIRST MET.
“I first met her spirit when I found out I was pregnant. There were a lot of emotions, curiosity and also comfort, because I had felt that something was off in my body, but the first two pregnancy tests came out negative. When it finally came out positive, it was overwhelming.”
“When she came out we both locked eyes and I fell in love. Lucienne is my second child and when I had my first, her brother Diego, I thought there was no way I could love anything as much as I loved him ever again. I was worried during the pregnancy with Lucienne that I wasn’t going to be able to give her that same pure love that poured out of me for Diego. But I was.”
HOW HAS MOTHERHOOD CHANGED YOU?
“It has opened my eyes to the bullshit of the world. It has given me a priority, a meaning and a new way of being. Motherhood changes you, and you shift. I still love what I do, but this is a greater good and a greater cause. It has made me realize all the petty things in life that don’t really matter.”
“It has also made me softer and allowed me to ask for help, realizing I can’t do everything by myself. You want to make sure these little beings are okay and that you give them the best life. It’s shifted me in a way that nothing else could have.”
DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THREE WORDS.
“Ancestry, curiosity and overwhelming love. When I look into my kids’ eyes, I see markings of myself and markings of my husband and I think about all the people that were before us and all the people that will come after them.”
WHEN DO THEY DRIVE YOU CRAZY?
“Every day. Diego is now two and a half, and has his own personality where everything is no. That drives me crazy. Also, simple things like getting out of the house. What used to take me twenty minutes can now take up to two hours. Getting out of the house has become the bane of my existence.”
I love the sound she makes when I’m breastfeeding her. It’s come to the point where I try to bottle the sound up.
TELL US A DETAIL ABOUT LUCIENNE THAT YOU SECRETLY LOVE.
“I love the sound she makes when I’m breastfeeding her. It’s come to the point where I try to bottle the sound up. I’m always recording it because I never want to forget it. It’s like having your favorite dessert, the sound is like a sweet to me. That nestling noise, that suckling sound she makes is my favorite thing.”
TELL US ABOUT A MEMORY THAT YOU KEEP CLOSE TO YOUR HEART.
“I remember the first time I could tell she could see me. When babies are born they mostly react on smell and can’t see past a couple of inches. This time, I went into her room and I could hear her fussing. I was quite far from the cradle, and she looked at me and smiled, and I smiled back. When I stopped, she stopped, when I smiled, she smiled. I did that for a good 45 minutes. I didn’t want to stop.”
“That moment made me feel so loved. It was similar to the feeling of being in elementary school and having a crush on a boy and being able to tell he noticed you. It’s something that makes you feel all giggly inside.”
Want more Mother’s Day inspiration? Read four more stories here!
PHOTOGRAPHER Jacqueline Harriet
STYLING Liz McClean | Walter Schupfer Management
MAKEUP Linda Gradin | L’Atelier NYC
HAIR Sabrina Szinay | The Wall Group